Are there any single guys/ dads out there?
that are decent. no mom in the picture.maybe even a christian believer? is it better for a single mom to date other single dads because they know how to treat a single mom since they are in the same boat? or is it possible to find a single man out there who will except me as i am with my son? need to know if its worth trying for or give it up and just stay alone. i am 23.christian. single mom. just want someone good to spend our lives with.
Tagged with: christian believer • Single Dads • single man • Single Mom
Filed under: Single Parents
My mom was a single mom. My dad was single and had no children. They’ve been married for almost 34-years. There are guys who want to date single moms.
My dad often told me, that he knew he wanted to be a dad, from the time he was about 3. He had a doll that he’d play with and he’d play house and would pretend he was a dad. I remember being that age, and I remember quite a few boys played house along with the girls. I imagine that quite a few of them grew-up to be great dads.
Then there were those who didn’t want anything to do with the girls, and would say things like they had cooties. They were the ones who ripped the heads off of the baby dolls and preferred playing with G.I. Joes and trucks instead. Not that there is anything inherently wrong with G.I. Joes or Trucks, but they made their choices rather early in life.
Those two groups of boys probably also had different role-models at home. You don’t even really need a dad around, to be a good dad later inn life. Some of the best dads I know, were raised by single moms. Their moms worked twice as hard, and the love for their child showed that much more. Their mom set a great example for them.
Do I think that there are still decent guys out there who want to date a single mom? Sure, absolutely. Will it be tougher to find them. Yes, absolutely.
When you say christian, I’m assuming not just any christian man will do. There are currently over 3000 christian religions in America alone. That number is mind-bogling. Most of them are small mom and pop religions, run out of a storefront in a small town. But, those who are members typically only want to date other members, because they share those specific beliefs. When you talk about the larger christian religions, the differences are even more appearent. A Lutheran and a Catholic, may not see eye-to-eye. A Baptist and a Southern Baptist, may also not see eye-to-eye.
What I would suggest, is that you try to meet a man in your church. Churches have changed a lot in the past 20-years. Attendence has been declining for the past 50-years. The baby-boomers and Great Generation are dieing-off, so churches are trying to attract younger people. They also know that there are a lot of singles. Many religions know that if they can help you meet throught he church, marry you in the church, baptise your babies, teach your children, send your kids to camp, and then marry off your kids, they’ll increase attendence. The focus of churches has changed. Churches are also focusing heavily on volenteer work. I don’t just mean homeless shelters, orphaniages and soup kitchens either. When the Hurricanes strike, the churches are there before the government is. When tordandos strike, the churches are there before the government is. Infact, when Greensburg, Kansas was destroyed, it was churches who first responded, and churches who stayed long after the government left. So the focus of churches have changed. They see it not only as helping people, but also really good publicity. You can’t buy that kind of PR.
Ask your priest or pastor if there are any programs to meet single men through the church. You wont be the first to ask them. Forget the bake sales. Straight men don’t volenteer for bake sales, and you’re not reeally looking to meet more women. So get involved in activities where men will actually be present. Sports are one place. Single dads fvolenteer for their kids sports. Summer camps are another place. There are often dances, and social mixers too.
You’re still pretty young. The average woman in America, gets married between the ages of 24-27. You’ve still got some time. Some women don’t get married until later in life too.
Don’t buy into that, don’t look, and love will come when you least expect it. You should look. You should approach men, rather than waiting for them to approach you. You should be proactive, rather than reactive. You should approach them, not for a date, but to get to know them, and to allow them to get to know you. Form friendships and when you’re comfortable, then one of you can ask the other out.
Avoid using phrases like, my kids come first. We know that. You don’t have to tell us that. Any guy who doesn’t know that, isn’t worth dating anyway, because frankly he’s either not that smart, or isn’t that nice a guy to begin with. The more you say it, the more it sounds like we come last, which has a negative ring to it. Keep the mood positive. Part of the reason guys like women without children, is because they keep the mood positive. Children don’t have to be baggage, unless you turn them into baggage. Infact, a child shouldn’t be baggage. Just keep it positive.
You and him may want to have dates, that include the child during the day, but then have more romantic dates at night. The park, the zoo, or the lake are all great day dates. Flying a kite is both fun, and inexpensive, and all three of you can enjoy it.
Guys like matured women and we dont really mind if you’ve had a failed relationship before or not cuz it gives you a chance to fix what you did wrong before and it also helps you understand and treat a man with more appreciation since you know what you’re looking for..thats one thing that makes me attracted to matured women .
Yes there are single dads out there looking for a family who will treat you child like there own and treat you really good. I know this because i was a single dad, then i met a woman with 2 of her own children who are now my children and we now have 2 children of our own together. So all together 4 children in my home. But yes there are good guys out there so don’t give up it will happen to you and for you. Your only 23 so just hang in there. I am pulling for ya good luck and stay away from abusive jerks.
wow is this a dating site now? LOL singlemom single dad dating service.. hehehe joke.. I’m bored..
but yeah i agree.. i said it before its hard for single moms compared to single dads to date or find someone..
I’m a single dad.
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at your age, it may be tough – guys your age won’t generally want a ready made family. I’m 49 – div 10 yrs and have dated basically just single Moms – I married later than most people, so my kids are a lot younger than the avg woman my age – so that makes it tough for me – Ideally – I’d like to find someone with kids close to my age (and that typically means the woman I’m looking for may be 10 yrs younger than me, which has lots of concerns of its own as I get older), although as mine get older (11 & 16), it’s getting to be less of an issue since they’ll be out on their own in the next 5-10 yrs. I just started dating a woman 20 yrs younger than me, so I’m just enjoying the moment(s) and seeing where it heads
well the older a man gets I notice that the less they want to deal w/women and kids but your young and you are bound to find someone girl. I met my wife when she was 17 w/a 1/12 year old boy and we married 4 yrs later then were married for 14 yrs. and she had an affair and I wouldn’t divorce her so she had to divorce me, what does that tell ya ? So yes it’s possible just be true to whoever you meet and don’t click w/him just cause they are a good security blanket, be true to him and yourself and you will meet someone guaranteed.