Please help…I am losing my mind when I didn’t do anything wrong. I cant get over this?
I am 24 years old male. i have an achieved career in the field of 3D visual effects, profession and everything. I had a reason to live so far, whcih would be, achieving my goal in my profession and then take care of my parents by supporting them. My parents had forgotten how much poor we were, the days we were eating once a day, whcih is before i got the job and before i supported them or before I left my country. Now I am in a different country, working, but they dont care ab out me or anything, but the money i send them, I wonder if they even miss me. They call me every month around the date i send them money and thats it.
I am missing everything and being a loner. I cant beleive how lonley I am. The one girl I met and liked her, she is white. I met her in the gym, she talked, smiled, was kind, interesting, matured etc I started to like her. After a long time, I thought of telling her how I felt. But I was so nervous to approach her, but I gathered all my courages and asked her out. Now, the one girl I liked wont talk to me anymore. It is embarrasing and humiliating that she stopped talking to me for the reason I liked her very much and wanted to hang out with her, she is avoiding me in my face. I sometimes wonder what is wrong with me, I am not a bad person, I never disrespect anyone, I respect everyone for who they are…Why am I deserving this.
I am wondering what am I doing now in my life. I got everything, but I got nothing. Whom am I even living my life for? I cant get over that she rejected me. Is it because I am not white? or probably because I am Indian? she felt insulted that i wanted to go out with her, or maybe i am assuming it. I cant forget the way her face reacted when I told her how much I like her. I am very hurt.
I didnt walk upto her and tell her something like "I love you" I just asked her if she wanted to go out with me. I try to be honest about what I feel. I dont fake my emotions. I asked her if she likes to go out with me as I like her and find her interesting. I wasnt trying to get into her pants or anything…
She could have told me anything like she cant. I
In one of the replies from someone, he asked me if I smell good. I dont know why people think Indians are nasty. I am a neat freak myself, I regularly workout. I am not insecure. About the looks, I dont think I dress up like a slob. I look exactly like this guy from Hannah Montana, her dad..with the same hairstyle, bigger and younger than him, but an Indian version of him.
I was nervous to approach her because I really liked her and what if she says no. There are a lot of things about her which I found very very cute, like I can just watch her speak all day. I hvnt felt the same with many other girls.
She even said she is single last month. Anyways, I tried to talk to her again, but she pretends like I am invisible. embarrassing 
what should it be? I apologize for finding you interesting and cute or for telling you Id be happy if you’d like to go out for a coffee or lunch?
Thanks a lot for the replies guys. It made me feel better.
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Tagged with: 24 years • Bad Person • being a loner • cant beleive • courages • disrespect • emotions • job • living my life • long time • money • Parents • profession • quot • visual effects
Filed under: single parent support
As for the girl, – you probably just scared her; when she was trying to be friendly she gave you the wrong impression, then she felt badly but didn’t know how to handle it. Everybody is not great at handling things,so give them some slack.
Next time you have a new friend, take it slow. Suggest coffee, going shopping for simple things, a walk, library, maybe out for a drink, small things where you can spend some time together and get to know one another but nobody (you or her or even him) is going to feel like it’s too much at the beginning. This is how relationships form.
You will meet the right person, and it will be easy and feel right. Until then don’t force anything, wish too hard, or otherwise get all wound up about it. Do things you enjoy and have a good time.
Your family just feels distant from you. Write them and let them know things about you; tell them each time something personal and something you miss about them. With physical distance comes emotional distance; this is natural but you can work to overcome it – don’t expect it of them because they probably aren’t sophisticated enough to improve things – you do it!
And do not stop sending them the money – you can waste more money than they need to live from – you need to keep that up. Even if you don’t feel appreciated, it’s not about you so suck it up and forget about your feelings in that matter.
basically your problem is that you have poor social skills. until you improve your social skills your life will probably not improve. you need to socialize more and learn social skills. it’s clear from your post that lack of social skills is your problem.
Maybe it would help if you explained a little clearer. For instance, what did you say when you told her how you felt? Hopefully you didn’t drop an "L-bomb" or anything. Just going up to someone and saying, "I love you," is kind of awkward for most people.
she could have turned you away for a lot of reasons, she may have a man already or was going through something on her own and she is not ready to date. dont take that personally though, we turn men away for ANYTHING!
you seem like a great guy but you say that you have everything. it sounds like you have reached all your goals and dont know where to go now. you have everything but you have nothing right now. search your soul and figure out what would make you happy on your own. when you find out what makes you happy, great women and friends will come beating down your door.
in the mean time, try faking a smile. people dont want to hang out with emo people. fake a smile and fake your outgoingness. you will find a friend or two.
oh, and call your family and talk to them. let them know how you are feeling.
DO NOT LET THE ACTIONS OF ONE GIRL MAKE YOU SECOND GUESS YOURSELF!!!!
She does not have or deserve the power to make you feel this way. You did nothing wrong!
well I can tell you this about the girl, it is probley not because you are not white, she probley just don’t like you that way, and now she probley feels bad too… She don’t want to talk to you thinking one of two things, either, 1. Like i said she feels guilty for rejecting you, and now feels awkward. or 2. She don’t want you to feel that she does like you. Some girls just want to avoid a guy that likes them. It makes them feel weird. I know that sounds funny but it is true.
As far as your family goes… Myself, I would just not send them a check one month and if they call and ask why I would tell them, what are they gonna do spank you? or get mad at you, how long would that last, just tell them you feel as if they are using you. That is personally what I would do.
I’m sorry to hear of your troubles…
As for the girl. Your being Indian may be a problem, as bad as that sounds. Since you are in the technology field, you may be a bad stereotype. Are you dressed well? Are you dressed appropriately and casually? (Meaning not always having a shirt tucked in.) Do you smell good? Do you have an Americanized hair cut?
Basically, try to be casual. Make your Indian-ness seem cool and work for you. Make jokes about it. Make it clear you understand you’re different but hey, that’s what makes you awesome, and she should think the same.
However, don’t come off as some sexist jerk.
In the meantime, maybe you should get a pet. It will give you complete devotion and companionship. Coming home to someone excited to see you can really brighten your day, regardless of what kind of creature it is. Also, there is probably an Indian association in your city, where you can go to social events and the like.
Sorry you’re so down…
Respectable, I am sorry to inform you that such is life. Ya, it prolly has something to do with the fact that you aren’t white even though a lot of whites will lie and say it has nothing to do with that fact. 2) It prolly also has to do with the fact that instead of waiting till after hanging out a couple times to tell her how you felt, you just came right out. Big No No. 3) You may be assuming more than neccessary, ut don’t get too much hope
There is nothing wrong with you and you don’t deserve this, but it happened. So pick your head up. Try apologizing and making general conversation with her, but do not mention love-relationship- or anything related. Just say "sorry about the other day, and jump into a general conversation about something random. After that forget her and move on.
She did not know how to be with you. There is an opportunity to clean this up with her. I suggest going to her and apologize (just use the word because you really don’t have to apologize) for being a little to anxious. Admit "you still do" think she is a kind of woman you would love to do something with. And ask her what was in her way for not accepting your invitation. Make this a learning opportunity once again. You hurt and humiliation will disappear instantly by doing this. The outcome with her will make no difference. So, onward!