I divorced from my ex husband when my children were 3 and 1. He immediately got together with the woman he was cheating on me with and after a long (over 1 year) custody battle, he ended up winning custody. Not only because he told a ton of lies in court, but because he now had a two parent household and I had a single parent household.
My kids are now 10 and 12. I have every other weekend visitation and holidays. Lately they’ve been saying they don’t want to come see me, because they want to play with their friends and do all the fun things their dad and step mom tell them they missed out on when they’re with me. I try as hard as I can to make their time fun with me, but since I only have them 4 days a month, our time is obviously limited.
How do you handle it when your child tells you they don’t want to see you? I love my children with all my heart and I’m torn-do I make them stay because I love them and want to see them any time I can, or do I let them go?
I should point out- yes, there are lies told by the other side. I honestly don’t believe it’s from ym ex, but from the step mother. The kids have told me straight out that she’s said I didn’t have custody ebcause I didn’t want them, that SHE carried them in her stomach, etc. The oldest looks a lot like me and the step mom tries everything she can to change her appearance- cuts her hair, colors it blonde (her color) etc. She is also letting them get away with murder so I look like the "mean one" if I have rules. They also make a lot more money than I do, so I can’t buy boats and expensive cars and costly clothes. I don’t make pennies, but they’re spoiled over there and i can’t compete financially. Because they are with me only every other weekend, they don’t have those close friendships established with a lot of kids at my place. I’ve asked them if they wanted to invite any of their other friends over but they say no, I think they are embarrassed, most their friends don’t know I exist.
I do go out of my way every time I have them to ensure we do at least one fun activity- go to the movies, go to golfland, go bowling, play board games, baking, shopping, etc etc.
Also, they do have their own rooms with 25" tv’s, cd’s, movies, games, toys, video game systems, etc. I didn’t want it to seem like they are visitors in my home, even though it’s only every other weekend. I have repeatedly told them how my door is always and will always be open for them at any time.
