I have been divorced for 7 yrs now. We have two children, 17yrs old with special needs and 13yr old. During the divorce we came to an agreement of acess being every wednesday and every other weekend (friday- monday am). Continually though out the last 7yrs he has changed the arrangements to suit him and his life. He is self employed and uses work comittments as an excuse to change these arrangements. I have always been accomadating, and never complained, even though he has never discussed the changes before enforcing them, and has always presumed its ok. He seems to have total disregard to the fact that I also have a life too.
We also agreed maintenence payments as being 400 a mth, and that soon stopped and for 18mths I didnt get anything at all. Now I get 100mth allbeit always late. It angers me greatly that I have to wait for maintenence, when he can still afford his luxurys, cleaners and nights out. Only recently he went for a weeks allinclusive with his new girlfriend, even told me it cost 1000, and in the next breath told me I would have to wait a couple of weeks when he got back off his holiday for maintenence. When I asked him to help me out with spending money for the childrens little holidays to grandparents, i was also told he couldnt afford it until he got back off holidays. Which I never did get in the end. I suppose its my own fault as I very rarely complain for the sake of a quiet life.
I am still a single parent living on benefits due to having a 3yr old, and having a son with special needs whom Ihave to be here for 24/7, so working is impossible for me. Every penny he does eventually give me comes off any benefits I recieve, so I am constantly living 100mth short every month until he decides to give it to me. His attitude is that I am living off tax payers and so therefore he is paying for me to live through his taxes, so therefore I have no right to complain about his lack of payment or lateness.
Recently due to theaggresive manor in which hespks to me, total diregard and lack of respect I have decided to enforce my own boundaries. I have stated that he now sticks to access as originally agreed in divorce, and if he has work comittments then he needs to sort out child care. I have also stipulated that maintenence should be paid on time, or I will invilve the csa. I am sick of having the p**s taken out of me.
Am i being unfair? Anyone got any advice how else I could deal with this?
He still has the knack of making me feel small, and I carry the stress of our situation all day when there is a disagreement.
Can anyone help????
how do I stop him controlling me?

Related Blogs

• Anyone Use CarBargains.com Price Negotiation Service? » My Money Blog
• Tiger Woods 'Definitely' Divorcing, If Anyone Still Cares …
• How revolutionary could the Work Health and Safety Act be …
• Dad smothered 4-mth old baby when she cried |
• Pound retreats from 3-mth high vs euro | World Trade Blog
• Weekend Picks: Shadfest, Flavors of the Avenue, Reading Terminal …
• Damon Albarn blasts Simon Cowell's lack of musical imagination …

What are some traditions that your family does at Christmas time?

One thing my family (my parents, grandparents, inlaws, and even close friends) does every single year is get together and make homemade chicken noodle soup, chili, and oyster soup on Christmas Eve. I love this, and look forward to it every year!!

I’m interested in hearing some traditions that your family has!
Happy Holidays!!

I pretty much have been staying home every weekend and most days of school holidays stuck at home looking after my autistic brother since grade 3 due to my parents long hours and changing days off.

Anyway I just realised that I havn’t brought anything for myself in…ages. My only source of income is when my grandparents, who feel sorry for me being cooped up indoors, give me something, usually for good reports (which I try not to accept, but my grandmother said it makes my grandfather happy so…eh) and Birthday/Xmas money from family (usually goes to bank for…idk happy future?).

Anyway, is there anyway I can make money despite basically being stuck indoors (or limited where to go/what to do, I sometimes take my brother out to shops). I can’t really get a part time job (nobody would hire a teen whose working days would change every single week, due to my parents days off changing). Please help, I know I might sound a little materialistic…but who doesn’t want to earn something?

My mom is really getting frustrated with Christmas this year like you could not believe. She doesn’t know what to get anyone anything. And my dad is not helping at all with ideas. I’m trying to make it easy on her by giving her good ideas that she can build on.

So yeah, we’re both stuck…

She needs to buy for 5 nephews and neices, her parents, and my dad’s 3 aunts. She feels like she’s given everything and doesn’t want to repeat gifts. She wants to go a little cheaper on them this year.

We need your help on Holiday Gift Ideas!

For my cousins, I head to get a little basket and fill it with stuff like 2 blankets (for the couples), popcorn, hot chocolate mix, and other holiday stuff we can’t think of. With a bow on it. But when she told her sister (my aunt), she thought it wasn’t a good idea for her daughter (who is 22). I think that it’s a good idea because they are all older than 22.
>>> Is this a good idea? What else could we add? Any ideas for my cousins (her nephews and nieces) When I mean 5 cousins, it means 2 couples and 1 single.

For my grandparents (her parents), she was going to get two outside rocking chairs for their porch but my dad didn’t have enough money on his credit card at that time and now he finally has enough but now we wouldn’t get the chairs by christmas. So that idea is shot.
>>> What are good ideas for grandparents/parents? Not like candy or candles. A real gift.

Lastly, she has no idea what to get for my dad’s 3 aunts that she buys for each year.
>>> What are some ideas for them? They are old in their 70′s, 80′s, and I think one is in her 90′s already. My mom doesn’t want to get candles or candy this year again. She ran out of ideas for them.

Thanks so Much for your help! (in advance) This will really help make the holidays so much easier!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

BE HONEST PLEASE… its for coursework

age range:

Ethnicity: afro caribbean or asian (please delete)

family type: nuclear, extended, lone parent or reconstituted (delete as appropiate)

do you believe your husband/partner having control over you is right?

what are your ambitions?

what do you thnik your position in the house is?

what do you live for? (family, ambition, other-please state)

how satisfied would you feel if you had a job? out of ten. ten is very satisfied.

how do you think your culture treats/views single mums (lone parents)?

Do you think lone parents are more independant?

how satisfied are you in your relationship with your husband?

would you get support from your family if you were a lone parent? does this make you feel confident in being/becoming a lone parent?

THANK YOU SO SOOOO MUCH FOR COMPLETING THE QUESTIONNAIRE!!!!
nuclear means – mum and dad and children in the same house

extended means- mum das, childreen and grandparents or aunts/uncles in the same house

reconstituted means – parent remarried after a divorce. living with step parent and biological parent.

lone parent means- mum or dad bringing up child alone. just one parent in the family