I have a 16month old son who I am raising alone with the help of my parents due to abandonment by the father. For his own "up-bringing" reasons, age, and immaturity cannot handle this task. I have always felt an immense amount of pain knowing someday my son will ask for him, and i in return have nothing prepared to say. Anyway, i’m in nursing school and volunteered at an elementary clinic. As i looked through the contacts, i was surprised to see so many children with only the mother as contact, and sometimes even only a father. Half of these children lived in a single home, or with a step father, whom they now call dad. I was expecting to see depressed, sad, children. How affected are children by not having a father or mother ? Or dealing with a step-parent. I myself am fortunate to have both, but now i want to know what’s it like for those who were not raised with a father or mother. Did it make you stronger? insecure? How did your mother/father explain this to you as a child. thanks. i have been stressing so much and been depressed over this for so long, sometimes even blaming myself. But now i see that i am not alone!

My daughter is getting married in December of 2006. She announced the wedding 12/05 Her fiancees parents told my daughter they were going to pay for everything. When she asked them again in June they still confirmed that they were going to pay for everything.
Now my daughter asks about wedding invitations and reception information and the mother of the groom says that unfortunately they can not pay for anything because they have to remodel their kitchen for Thanksgiving. (The only reason they are remodeling their kitchen is because their older son’s in-laws are coming over for Thanksgiving Dinner and they are financially secure, a.k.a. "well-off)
So, I have not saved any money for the wedding, since I thought they would pay for it and a lot of holidays are around the corner.
So, should I, the bride’s mother (single parent, single income) pay for a wedding that is a couple of months away or should the groom "Man-up" and tell his parent’s to help pay?

Hi we have a college kid and is going to a 4 year college but did not get a single scholarship. Just a few grants every year and we have lots of student loans too.

She did apply for some on fast web way at the beginning, But got discouraged at how difficult and time consuming they are to apply; plus with a part time job and full time classes, its not something that is appealing for her to do on top of other things.
My question is this: " Are there any scholarships that PARENTS can apply for so that they can go towards the tuition of the child?? I lost my job and will definitely have time to apply on her behalf and maybe get a few scholarships for her.
I dont know if anyone knows of this kind of thing but if you do, I would appreciate any info you may have. thanks

FYI, I am in the USA & she is getting her Bachelors in Animation in a 4 yr college accredited by any univ.

Do statistics such as those presented in this link worry you? http://www.fatherhood.org/father_factor.asp (I just saw that linked in one of Pdooma’s answers, hope he doesn’t mind me borrowing it!) – I haven’t read the entire exhaustive list, but I’ve read a bit and skimmed the rest. As an individual reading all that, who happens to be a single mother of a child whose father is not in his life, I find that sort of research a little upsetting. It feels like an attack, and a very one sided account – statistics can present a biased account when only given one angle; I see nowhere amongst that have they attempted to represent any research for any positive factors there may be. But having said that, it doesn’t personally worry me a great deal, because I am an individual, not a statistic, and I am comfortable that my family isn’t the sort of family to fall prey to the majority of that.

Single mothers, how do you feel reading things like that? Do you worry that your child may become one of those statistics? Will you/do you take any preventative measures to stop any of that from happening, or do you simply intend to live your life and raise your child(ren) in a good moral background as any parents do and pay no attention to statistics?

Also, this question can be for anyone, do you feel some of those statistics are merely coincidental and not related to the fact that the children are from single parent homes? Ones such as this: "Based on birth and death data for 217,798 children born in Georgia in 1989 and 1990, infants without a father’s name on their birth certificate (17.9 percent of the total) were 2.3 times more likely to die in the first year of life compared to infants with a father’s name on their birth certificate." – or if not coincidence, what do you think could possibly be the link between father not being on the birth certificate and infant mortality? (And same question applies for any of the more bizarre statistics like this).
Just to add that I am deliberately addressing single mothers as opposed to all single parents, because the research given only applies to that. But single dads, or anyone else with their 2pence to offer, feel free to answer too!
Pdooma – with all due respect, that wasn’t the question. I get the initiative of the website, but it is public and therefore for anybody’s eyes, I think I have a right to read it. The statistics are out there in plenty of other places too, I just happen to be linking that site to save myself trawling through Google to find the same research presented with a different message. I have witnessed you personally take offence enough times to things that weren’t directed towards you, so for someone whose answers I usually respect I find your stance a little hypocritical and unhelpful.

I divorced from my ex husband when my children were 3 and 1. He immediately got together with the woman he was cheating on me with and after a long (over 1 year) custody battle, he ended up winning custody. Not only because he told a ton of lies in court, but because he now had a two parent household and I had a single parent household.

My kids are now 10 and 12. I have every other weekend visitation and holidays. Lately they’ve been saying they don’t want to come see me, because they want to play with their friends and do all the fun things their dad and step mom tell them they missed out on when they’re with me. I try as hard as I can to make their time fun with me, but since I only have them 4 days a month, our time is obviously limited.

How do you handle it when your child tells you they don’t want to see you? I love my children with all my heart and I’m torn-do I make them stay because I love them and want to see them any time I can, or do I let them go?
I should point out- yes, there are lies told by the other side. I honestly don’t believe it’s from ym ex, but from the step mother. The kids have told me straight out that she’s said I didn’t have custody ebcause I didn’t want them, that SHE carried them in her stomach, etc. The oldest looks a lot like me and the step mom tries everything she can to change her appearance- cuts her hair, colors it blonde (her color) etc. She is also letting them get away with murder so I look like the "mean one" if I have rules. They also make a lot more money than I do, so I can’t buy boats and expensive cars and costly clothes. I don’t make pennies, but they’re spoiled over there and i can’t compete financially. Because they are with me only every other weekend, they don’t have those close friendships established with a lot of kids at my place. I’ve asked them if they wanted to invite any of their other friends over but they say no, I think they are embarrassed, most their friends don’t know I exist.
I do go out of my way every time I have them to ensure we do at least one fun activity- go to the movies, go to golfland, go bowling, play board games, baking, shopping, etc etc.

Also, they do have their own rooms with 25" tv’s, cd’s, movies, games, toys, video game systems, etc. I didn’t want it to seem like they are visitors in my home, even though it’s only every other weekend. I have repeatedly told them how my door is always and will always be open for them at any time.