that they should wait until they are in a stable marriage before getting pregnant?
Raising children is not like buying a dolly at the store, its a wonderful and tough job at the same time. I could not imagine trying to raise my kids without the support and help of my amazing husband. Plus kids need a mother and a father. Some people have things happen that are out of their control and end up a single parent, but why are so many of these girls so willing to be a single mom, regardless of the consequences and quite frankly what statistics show about single motherhood?
*** Car. Baby, I think you and I are on the same page. Just because you’re married doesn’t mean that you should reproduce either… the key is STABLE marriage.
And sorry to the answerer’s that say a "stable" relationship is the same as married, its not. A devorce is expensive and time consuming and sometimes it makes you seek other options like counseling before you resort to devorce. When you are not married you can walk away at any given moment.

What is the benefit of a man getting married in the United States? Unless he wants kids, I see none.

The divorce laws are completely slanted toward women and the child support laws are borderline unconstitutional. American women these days no longer want to do any of the household chores that future generation household wives used to take on. If both parties are going to work outside of the household, then I agree that the women should not have the sole responsibility of the household chores. But if that is the case, why get married? A man is no longer getting the emotional support and the domestic benefits that used to come with marriage. Therefore married men are no longer healthier than their single counterparts (and this was proven in a Michigan State University study over a 30 year period). The study points to lack of family prepared dinners for when the husband arrives and the fact that single men are more likely to eat better/stay in shape in order to attract a member of the opposite sex.

American women generally gain weight, don’t keep themselves up, stop sexually satisfying their husbands, etc… After becoming married because they are now comfortable in their situation and know if the man would leave, they’d be entitled to 50% of everything (if not more) plus spousal support. It is funny, as I am a frequent member of the gym, to see how many overweight divorcees or soon-to-be divorcees start shedding the pounds after their husbands have decided to leave them in order to attract a new man. Well maybe if you would have kept yourself up and "put out" for your husband, he wouldn’t have left you.

Now, with that said, I’m not opposed to staying in a long-term monogamist relationship with a woman (for those that say you should because you LOVE someone, well if you LOVE someone there is no reason that you can’t stay with them). I just don’t see any reason to sign legal documents where there are no advantages for me (a man) UNLESS the man wants children (which I don’t). I do agree that children should be products of a marriage where it is a more stable environment for them and statistics show that they grow/mature better than their counterparts that are part of a single parent household (studies say these children are more likely to suffer from psychological issues, substance abuse, drug abuse, commit crimes as juveniles/adults, and become teenage parents).

Is there any reason that a man in the United States should get married in the 21st century?
just another girl – Thank you, I forgot to add my last, and most important statistic. More marriages fail today than succeed. The divorce rate is over 50% in this country. Do you think everyone entering those marriages thought they were going to fail?

It is stupid and plain IGNORANT not to look at the risks you take with any action, especially a major life decision like marriage. Unlike most idiot who let life hit then like a tidal wave, I plan out my life. Considering everything I’ve worked for, and everything I have to lose, why get married when the statistics show that my marriage has a better chance of failing than succeeding in this country.

As a man, I can get everything I’d want out of marriage without getting married (sex, a life long partner, is there anything else?). So what do I have to gain as the question asks?
So Monica… You are an abusive bitch huh? Must have been raised by a single mother.

And to the single mothers… Just because it worked out for you, doesn’t mean that it is a good idea. Statistics show it is worse off for children, and boys need fathers. No wonder there are so many p*ssified men in this country… All raised by man-hating b*tches who teach them to be homotional and sit when they pee. Maybe before having children you should think about THEIR needs, rather than what works for YOU.

Maybe your relationship or your marriage is almost hitting rock bottom, and you’re debating if you should call it quits or muster the strength to fix it and save the relationship. Honestly, it could be a hard decision when it has come down to thinking about quitting your relationship. If you’re faced with this kind of situation, you should definitely consider things before making your last decision.

What are you expecting from your relationship and what are the things that are missing? Now, try and see if you can provide answers to the following questions. Your sincere answers to them will provide clues on what your final decision should be.

1. Does your partner flare up at the slightest things and do most discussions between you end up in squabbles? 2. Does the thought of your partner make your heart sick and weary? In essence, do you have the feeling of a looming fight at the thought of your partner’s homecoming or visit rather than anticipating it with joy? 3. Do you wish you never entered into the relationship in the first place and wished you were with someone rather than your partner? 4. Is there a dent in the respect you have for your partner? Do you still hold him/her in high esteem or has your love for each other completely died out? 5. Has there been any case of physical abuse and if so, how frequently? 6. Do you suspect your partner is cheating on you? Have you attempted a peaceful discussion about this issue of infidelity and it ended up in a fight? 7. Is there a serious communication gap between you? What steps have you taken to bridge this gap? 8. How is your sexual relationship with your partner? Is it still fun or have things gone so sour that you no longer enjoy sex, but see it as a mere ritual?

If you have gone through all those questions and most of your answers are yes, then you need to think twice, examine all the circumstances and determine if you can still handle the relationship or if you simply want to quit in order of peace and freedom. If you still have some hope somewhere in your heart that the relationship can work well again, don’t hesitate to look for help. One of the best steps is to seek proper counsel and guidance from a marriage or relationship expert.

It has always been said that communication is the best way to resolve issues. So before you look for help, see if you can talk things over with your partner and devise new and better ways to present your issues, no matter how furious you are. Open a conversation and share your ideas, issues with your partner.

Author: Jacqueline Gharibian.Be In Love Again & Save Your Marriage Program has helped save thousands of relationships. You can’t afford to give your marriage 50%. You need 100%. Read more about Be In Love Again

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My sister is about 4 years older than me, married with a toddler. I am a single parent to a 3 1/2 year old. We mainly only see each other at major family holidays, which is more than enough for me (I want the kids to have that experience and grow up liking each other).

The problem is that she has taken it upon herself to boss my daughter around. The kids get overexcited at these gatherings (activities and sugar) and get a little rambunctious. She tells my daughter what to do or not do, right while I am present. She gives her little ‘manners’ lessons (my daughter has wonderful manners) and takes things from her.

To me, and aunt should be a buddy and should only exert the LEAST bit of authority if the child is about to hurt themselves or endanger someone else – IN MY ABSENCE. I consider her telling my child what to do extremely inappropriate and totally unnecessary.

I’ve only so far said things like "I’ve got this one, thanks", and she’ll flinch back a bit and go "…oh….sorry…we’re big on manners!" Or something to that effect. Of course, I would admit if my child is a hellian, but she isn’t. She’s a lovely kid and my sister is being condescending to both of us. This is purely speculation, but because I am a single parent and she is not, she seems to feel superior (and has made comments indicating so).

I have no plans on having any relationship with her outside of these standard issue holidays, but if anyone has tips on how to handle this when we are in the same house, please send them my way. Thanks.

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My older sister has 6 kids, never worked, very affluent and a tight Christian family. I am a single mother with one son. I don’t run around and only started dating again in the last year. My son is now 13. My sister is always giving me statistics on single parent children and those in a nuclear family.
My son has spent a couple of weeks with her the last few summers. This year he went on a road trip with them for 3 weeks. Now my sister has started sending him postcards. The first read "Review from summer vacation. What you have to say is important…….communicate" nothing more, she didn’t even sign it. The second one said "The time is now. Decide your future and do what it takes to get you there. Your life is what you make of it" Again no signature. ?????
My son is doing well and is well behaved or she would never allow him to visit with her. She has offered to take my son since she found out I was pregnant. How would you take this as a parent?
I talked with my son and he says she didn’t say anything negative about me. My son’s father has 6 other kids and she was more concerned with my son’s relationship, or lack thereof, with them. Which I don’t think is any of her business.
She asked him what he wanted to do in the future but she didn’t like his answer. So I guess she may be trying to change his mind.
He won’t be visiting her alone again. I always listen to my son and he attends church regularly and is active in his youth group.
I’d put my single parent child up against any nuclear family’s kid any day of the week…including hers.
I know I need to talk to her but I wanted some opinions first before I flew off the handle…..Thank you

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